Doctor Elizabeth Jasper felt her back burn up as she sat down on the black leather interior of her ’44 Oldsmobile. She rolled the window down and remained there for a moment as the heat that was trapped inside slowly escaped. Despite the intense temperature of a car that had been parked in the desert sun for hours, Dr. Jasper wasn’t ready to drive away just yet. This was a big decision. She had debts to consider. A new mortgage on a small house that had to be addressed. Her son with a disability that required expensive treatments. These were real things to grasp, things to worry about. The tangible fears of where her next paycheck would come from, stopped her from leaving this place for the final time.
Then the discovery that made her walk out in the first place, raised its emotional hands and grabbed her by the neck once again. The sickening thought of her being involved in something ungodly, snuffed out all her financial realities. A realization she had made hours previous that was still turning her stomach inside out. All of the research that she had been doing, hours of calculations and the endless theoretical brainstorming discussions were all intended for one single, dark purpose. The eventual construction of one very real, atomic bomb. She was hired (and paid quite handsomely) to merely come up schematics and mathematical probabilities for some undisclosed, scientific projects. As it turned out, she was merely a small cog in a much bigger machine.
The sweat began to flow into her eyes as she sat there, waiting. The undeniable core of her identity questioning the doubtless hesitation in leaving. Her belief system in the sanctity of life and the role of God that men take-on, was suddenly being challenged by the basic needs of suburban survival. She looked up at the New Mexico sun as it brightened throughout the heavens. A simple reason was what she silently prayed for in justifying any final choice that she would make. The world was slowly changing around Dr. Jasper. She however, remained immobile in her ambiguity on what decision could she possibly live with for the rest of her life.
Written using the following prompts:
January Writing Prompt – A simple reason was she needed – Day 30/31
Three Things Challenge #30 – bomb, desert, jasper