The PW Torture~#Rhyme #TheMagicShop

The Morning is here and I awake from my rest,  to face once again the logging in test.

A simple question that is really absurd, I’m often asked daily “What is your password?”

I don’t write them down like I know that I should,  I rely on my memory which is really not good.

A security check that wastes so much time,  I failed their test so no Netflix or Prime.

My log on for Hulu I think I still know,  I was wrong again so much for old shows.

Forget T.V. I’ll give music a try.   Three wrong attempts, now there’s no Spotify.

Instead,  I’ll just listen to a really good book, after multiple tries Audible gives me the hook.

No premium channels, iTunes or apps.   How will I get out of this Amnesia trap?

I’ll just change my passwords and be done with this game. But, then they ask for the OLD one which is really insane.

Streaming is such a big part of our lives, as long as you have passwords that  you can memorize.

A safe DVD is my guaranteed hope,  if only I could find the missing remote.

Just Last Night~#poetry #TheMagicShop

This place has returned.

I’m standing in it.

This makes no sense.

She’s gone, yet she stands in front of me.

Her criticism is fresh.

The words are sharp.

Nothing I am to her is correct.

Eyes that I loved are now the vessels of rage.

I thought I was free.

Years passed, yet it goes on now.

This can’t be real.

Details too vivid, a picture of pain.

Experiences echo forever.

Tabula Rasa for today.

I take one forward step daily towards better days.

But, she’ll always seep in at night and infect my thoughts forever.

Final Breath~#MemorialDay #Creativewriting #TheMagicShop

Lieutenant Daniel Reese cradled Private Thomas Miller’s head in his lap. Despite them being on a noisy chopper miles above ground, their time together now was quiet and focused. Reese wiped the sweat from his eyes and looked down at Miller, his eyes were blinking slower and slower. Multiple holes in Miller’s uniform foretold his outcome. He kept a picture of his daughter in his upper chest pocket. A corner of it was now hanging out through one of the new burnt holes of his in his shirt. It was a picture of her in a yellow dress holding an Easter basket. Splatters of her father’s fresh blood were now smeared across it right over her stockings. Reese looked up and outside down upon the Saigon countryside. It was a beautiful place from this high in the air. God’s green earth that spread out for miles and miles. Miller coughed up some blood and it brought Reese back to the reality of what his viewpoint up here wasnt revealing about the land below.

“Hang in there, soldier. We’re almost there. ” Reese snapped at Miller as if he was giving him an order to do the instinctive act of breathing. Miller’s eyes rolled up and looked at Reese. He stared through him, focused on something on far off in some unknown distance. He coughed some more and whispered to Reese.

” The sales…All the stores will have big sales” Miller’s stare remained frozen as he stopped breathing. Reese started to shake his head.

“MILLER, DON’T YOU DIE ON ME! MILLER!”

Only the sounds of the helicopter’s engine were now left to be heard. Reese reached up and shut Miller’s eyelids. Another soldier that he tried to protect was gone. Reese had become numb to these events lately. The final utterances of Miller were lost on Reese. He’s heard other soldiers say all kinds of crazy things in the end as they approached death. It wasn’t a way for any man to go out. Months in the jungle trying to survive through another day, all reduced to a nonsensical raving in the end. Reese decides to keep Miller’s final words to himself, should anyone ask. He looks outside again and prays that Miller’s death will mean more to the world than what he uttered in the very end.

*****************

He should be home with his gal listening to the radio and enjoying their first summer out of High school. Instead, Seaman First class Thomas Flynn was on the deck of the biggest ship he had ever seen in his life. Not that this was the best place to be, especially during wartime. Being the biggest also meant you were the easiest target. Flynn thought this as he laid on this ship’s deck waiting for a medic. They were a few other guys around him who were screaming for help, they would be looked to first. One of the silent ones near him was his shipmate, Seaman Louis Marino. Marino was a handsome guy who would always tell stories of how women back home loved when he looked at them with his blue eyes. The last thing Flynn felt before the blast was Marino pushing him down on the deck. Everything else that happened afterwards was a blur to him. He had been standing on the deck with Marino looking out over the Atlantic and enjoying the rare off-duty time they got. Marino was convinced that Brooklyn would clinch another world series that year and that’s when the explosion happened. The ship was under attack in a matter of minutes. Flynn eventually was thrown across the deck with a piece of metal the size of a ruler shoved right through his leg. This is where he was now, his pants soaked red. He turned to look at Marino. His chest was moving up and down slowly.

“Marino? LOU, CAN YOU HEAR ME?” Flynn shouted out to him. The sounds of planes flying overhead close enough to almost drown out his voice.

Marino cocked his head towards Flynn. Half his face was now burned beyond recognition. He stared at Flynn with his one remaining eye.

“Flynn….make sure..Marino’s dry voice spoke, sounding final.

“Make sure you cook enough Hot Dogs and…Hamburgers for everyone” He then turned away and looked straight up in the sky. He chest stopped moving.

Flynn laid there silent and confused. Marino was a guy who always wanted to be remembered as “the guy that would always have your back”. He was also the best friend a guy from Ohio could have on a ship filled with hundreds of strangers. Flynn winced in pain as he tried to move his body up a bit. He was hoping to survives this. He had made a decision. If he were to get home alive, he would find Marino’s family in Hoboken, New Jersey. He would tell his family that Marino died a hero and that he loved his family very much. Flynn would forget about what Marino’s final words really were-whatever their meaning was. His brother in arms deserved to be remembered for more than that.

*************

Three years ago, lance corporal Justin Perez had never even heard of the country of Libya. All he knew was the town in Texas that he grew up in and the people who lived there with him. He had never left the state in his entire life for vacations or any other reason. Although he hadn’t never seen much of America, he was still certain that he loved it and was proud to be a citizen there. He came over here because he wanted to give back to others and protect the helpless. He didn’t care about what the politician’s wanted or what the media called it, he had his own personal agenda to do whats right in this war. Thats what he felt any decent person should do, help out the ones who can’t be helped.

This middle east heat didn’t bother Perez much. Summers in Texas were brutal and he grew up playing in it. The rest of his platoon however felt differently. Private Jennifer Skolski was a Green Bay Mom of two who actually missed the cold of Wisconsin winters. Task Sergeant Michael Jones had spent most of his life in Buffalo, N.Y.. He loved all the seasons but, the brutal winters in Buffalo were actually Jone’s favorite time of year. Perez was the last man back on the end. They were on foot marching along the side of a road heading to this town of Benghazi. These walks were all part of the job. You couldn’t think about your feet or the weight on your back. You had to become this robotic thing of just instinct. The moment you started feeling any emotion about what you were experiencing, was the moment that immobilized you. Your humanity became a burden when facing such harrowing circumstances. Perez looked upon ahead at Sergeant Winslow who took point. He learned a lot about life from the older Winslow. He considered him to be a mentor on many things. That’s when he saw the spray of blood shoot from Winslow’s neck.

“INCOMING! COVER!” Skolski screamed back at all the men, who were now moving with frantic speed.

Perez scrambled away from the incoming fire. He saw Jones get hit in the arm. All the Kevlar in the world can’t protect you, if the aimed right bullet has your name on it. Perez held up his rifle and returned fire. Back home, Perez was an avid video game enthusiast mastering first player shooter games. Those victories were worthless now when you were facing the real thing. He crawls over to Winslow and checks on him. The sand under Winslow’s neck stained dark crimson. Perez looks into his open eyes.

“Some will be off from work, who cares why?” The final words whispered by Sergeant Mathew Winslow on this earth and they made no sense at all to Perez. He scrambled away to try and survive the next few minutes.

It’s now months later and Perez is now stateside. He decides to visit the Winslow household which was located outside of Peoria,Illinois. Sitting in their living room, Amanda Winslow and her two teenage daughters are listening to Perez tell stories of their late father. He tells them that his final words were of love for his family. Tears begin to flow profusely from Amanda and her daughter’s eyes. Perez was speechless as he held back his own emotion.

Perez didn’t stay much longer after that. He left their home and walked along the streets. He knew full well that despite lying to that family, he felt he did the right thing. He knew that a soldier’s death should, NEEDS to be honoured for all the things that they did up until the point that they died for a greater cause. Winslow spoke of a “day off” for some. Perez didn’t know what he meant by those words. Not that it was important. Those words had little meaning to Perez, not would it to any other soldier in any other war. Any man or woman who died during battle, should be memorialized for their sacrifices and not the implications of their final words. These thoughts filled Perez’s head as he got in his car and headed home to his own family.

Sincerely dedicated to all the men and women, active and veterans, living or deceased who served in all of our armed forces. Thank you.

Inner Well~#poetry #TheMagicShop

They’ve returned to pull him down.

His shield was lowered in complacency.

They surround him.

Inner screams echo for his destruction.

His escape to happiness was short.

The agents of chaos began their dance.

They Induce his doubt, grow his insecurity.

This thinker believes his worthlessness they speak of.

His natural wants are blurred and judged.

He is lost within this inner maze of his creation.

These perceptions mold his reality.

A storm of distortion engulfs his identity.

They’ve won tonight, until the escape of sleep arrives.

Daybreak to clarity.

They’ve gone back to the shadows.

The aftershock remains as always.

He will always be entwined with their agenda.

Their birth is irrelevant.

The mask of normalcy returns and he resumes his guard.

His daily climb out of the well begins again.

Mere Words~#poetry #TheMagicShop

With some words, he found her again.

His yearns were buried.

Uninvited burdens crashed the party.

Feelings were forgotten.

A table and a talk.

Resolution replaced confusion.

His heart pumped again.

A welcoming listen.

Her open admission.

She never left their path.

Her concerns were for him always.

The struggle of days tests them.

Connections can be lost.

The touch is in the talking.

With some words, they found love in each other again.

Guilty~#inspiration-2 #daily-prompts-2

Martin sat at his kitchen counter in the middle of the night feeling finally satisfied. He looked down at his plate of chewy chocolate chip cookies. One by one the cookies were being eliminated. What was once a happy community of twelve was now reduced to a quartet. Martin had not intended to do this heinous but heavenly act of gluttony at 2 am. Yet, here he was with a glass of whole milk that had expired yesterday and an almost empty plate.

“Damn, these are good” He thought as claimed another victim off his plate. Now, they were just a sad trio of cookies. He took a sip of milk and paused to look out his kitchen window. It was quiet and dark out there, a sight Martin wasn’t used to. Usually the street was alive with cars backing out of their driveways being driven by the workers of the day. Life would start again in a few hours and unlike him, some would be living their life to the fullest. He sat back in his chair, listening to its sad creak under his enormous girth.

“That didn’t sound good” he said out loud in defeat. He looked down at his belly. With his white undershirt on, his belly looked like a huge mountain of snow after a snow storm. Martin felt his elation about the cookies disappear.

“Holy crap. That’s bad.” He hadn’t looked at himself, seriously looked at himself in a very, very long time.

“I shouldn’t have done this” he thought, the guilt kicking in with full force. “I shouldn’t have done any of it.” He turned his head and slowly looked around the entire kitchen.

The counters were covered with a variety of half empty bags of chips and boxes of cookies. Two open boxes of breakfast cereals stood above the pile. A sleeve of Orange Milano cookies was dangling on the edge of the counter, waiting to fall. Loose fortune cookie wrappers that were from the Chinese take-out he had gotten hours earlier were thrown on top of the pile. The floor had the crinkled up remains of multiple Hershey’s chocolate kisses.

Martin felt like he had just murdered someone. “Yea, YOUR KILLING YOURSELF, YA IDIOT!” He alarmingly thought. The guilt of his actions were additionally adding to the flames of his self-destructive behaviour. He took a deep breath(as best as he could with the asthma) and made a decision.

“NO MORE!” He said out loud as if he were addressing hundreds instead of none.

“This ends NOW! From here on out, we stop eating all THIS CRAP!!” He held his arms in the air and stood up on weakened knees. The chair let out a grateful sigh.

He picked up the plate with the remaining three cookies and walked over to the garbage can in the corner. With a simple act of dumping three small things into his waste can. Martin felt like he was the most powerful man on earth. He controlled his destiny. The voices of Captain Crunch, the Keebler elf, Chester the Cheet-Ohs cat and many others would be silenced to his ears. He never wanted to feel like how he felt that night in his own kitchen again-an innocent man imprisioned by insecurity and guilt in his own life.

Milestone~#creativewriting

He parked his car on the outskirts of the mall and watched her from a distance. She would finally be his to take tonight. The month between his women sometimes felt like a year. Thankfully, it was his scheduled time to show up again. He took a sip of his coffee, put on his cap and waited for her to leave the store. It was clear and chilly outside, just the way he liked it. He felt like he could breathe better on nights like this. Running after them was easier too, if they started to take off. He hated it when they ran. The parking lot was practically empty now and where she worked was the only store left open. All the other shops in the strip mall had already closed for the evening. It was a nice little mall that he went to often. He could see her in the store finishing up vacuuming and shutting the lights out. He just wishes her hair was a little lighter, like the other ones. The third one in Windsor County was platinum blonde, his personal preference. That one also had perfect teeth, no braces. He could tell when he covered her mouth up, way back in November. Four weeks ago in Garnersville, it was a strawberry blond. What a screamer that one was. She sounded like a damn fire alarm. Horrible. He had ringing in his ears for two days after that. That’s why he felt tonight would have to be better, to make up for the screamer from last month. It was already a better night for him for another reason. Tonight marked a milestone for him.

This will be the sixth one I gut, He thinks as he opens his car door excited and ready.

She had parked her car further back in the lot. Just far enough away from his car so he wouldn’t spot her. She was waiting for him to make his move. When he does, she’ll be ready. This one took way too long to get. The Five before tonight was unacceptable. She watched him drink coffee in his car and wished she had a fresh cup herself. It was chilly out tonight. She hated this weather. Either it was slightly cold or rainy in this area. She always wanted a summer breeze and only got it when she went away from this burg. This mall was pathetic as well. Stores that closed too early and no one shopped at. Who wants to go to a pizzeria that closes at seven and a Hallmark store with overpriced cards? It’s almost closing time for the only store that she was interested in. The store that he was watching. about. The rookie they planted in the store had just finished vacuuming. A cute kid that she had just met earlier tonight. She could see the hunger in her, like the kind she used to have. Her hair was a bit dark but, she was his type regardless. He’ll definitely go for it. Its time, the lights just went out in the store. She sees him put down his coffee down and throw on his cap. He’s getting ready to make his move. She checks her badge, makes sure it’s hanging in plain sight. This has to go down without a glitch, not like before. The rookie is now outside the store locking the door. He’s getting out of his car. The lietuntant takes the safety off her Beretta and opens her car door. Things were already going better than last month. Tonight would be a milestone for her.

‘This piece of shit gets flushed away tonight and I’ll be the one who does it’, She thinks as she leaves her car and heads towards the store calm and focused.

Assumption~#inspiration-2 #daily-prompts-2

This word was too hard to write about in any way, different words had been easier on previous days.

Who picked out this one he thought in frustration, a job like this leads to resignation.

He got out his pencil and started to write, a task like this may take him all night.

He doubted his skills and use of a rhyme, he was certain for sure of wasting his time.

An idea lit up in his tired head, he felt like new and got off of his bed.

He wrote it all down and laid down to rest, this chore of a prompt was really a test.

A lesson was learned from this little chore, never give give in to writing no more.

You may think you can’t do it, these prompts aren’t your thing, Just be yourself and not Stephen King.

These times when your brain seems to malfunction, force it to work and beat your own assumption.

Disappear~#inspiration-2 #daily-prompts-2

What an absolute glorious feeling this was for her. She made the decision this morning,as soon as she woke up. No more excuses and no more delays. Hours later and the job was done. She inhaled a deep breath into the open air. She smells the scent of triumph and feels herself empowered.

Simply put, this monster had to go. It started out small, an infant born from a day’s unopened mail. She let it live a little, let it learn to walk. It grew just a little bit more with old greeting cards and some flyers from work. Incoming mail was it’s constant nutrient. It had become a small child now, seeking attention. She ignored it instead. Receipts for unreturnable merchandise fed its size. More mail arrived to push it into adolescence. Ripped out recipes, cut coupons and still photos of strangers given to her made it grow even more. Tall but, still manageable at this point. Then came the stuff that pushed it into full maturity. The stuff that she or no one else knows what to do with. Sincere unwanted gifts from the family. Trinkets from holidays that ended months ago. Handwritten notes that even the greatest detective couldn’t decipher their mysterious meaning. This is when it became a rebellious adult. It stopped her from dealing with its progress. It needed just a few more things to completely run her life. That’s when the catalogs came. One after another they arrived. These things were Delivered, given or borrowed. All of them unread, made the monster what it was. She was terrified of its mass and intimidated into apathy.

She sits down on her couch and puts her legs up. The battle was long and exhausting for this warrior. A war that had to be fought. She smiles and takes a sip of her coffee. She looks at her victory. Her desk was no longer a disorganized mess of life’s demands. She had made the monster disappear.

The sock (Part 4)~#shortstory #creativewriting

Aunt Carol could not believe what she was looking at. It completely shocked her. She had to tell herself that something was wrong with this.

“THREE BUCKS FOR A LOUSY DRINK? Are they for real with THESE PRICES?” She said this to and her sister Linda as they approached the concessions stand in the shaded mezzanine area.

“I know. it’s ridiculous. But, I have to drink SOMETHING.” Linda said as she continued to fan herself with a map of Funworld. “I’ll get online and get us both a drink, just go keep an eye on the kids.” Aunt Carol turned and headed towards the opening that looked out unto the arena below. She spotted Alex and Dawn who were sitting on the end of a bleacher about 10 rows up from the main arena floor. There was some laughter coming from the audience below as two circus clowns were walking up into Dawn and Alex’s section.

“Oh crap! I hope Linda gets back soon,” Carol thought as one of the clowns approached Alex “she’s going to miss this!”

Cousin Dawn sat there not being able to see a thing in front of her. Her eyesight was now blurry despite having passed an eye exam with flying colors three months earlier. She didn’t need glasses at all. Yet, right now her eyesight was terrible. The reason behind this was that she was now wearing Alex’s prescription glasses. A few minutes earlier, the first clown had reached out to Alex’s head, took off his glasses and placed them on Dawn’s head directly over her sunglasses. She sat there and giggled(as did Alex) feeling silly with two pairs of glasses on.

Then the clown took off Alex’s NY Yankees cap and placed that on Dawn’s head as well. Laughs from the crowd started to get a little louder. The second clown then walked up the steps past Alex and then stood directly behind him. Like Dawn, Alex’s vision was also blurry. He felt something grab both of his lower arms. They were the gloved hands of the second clown. Alex’s arms were then jerked straight up in the air. His shirt was then quickly pulled off over his head by the first clown. He pulled the shirt off so fast, Alex’s right ear started ringing. Alex wasn’t sure how to act. He definitely wasn’t laughing, like everyone else that sat around him. Dawn just sat there still wearing two pairs of glasses almost afraid to move. The second clown stepped back down unto the steps and stood next to his partner. They both just stood there a moment as if contemplating what their next move should be. Alex wasn’t sure what to expect next. Then in one synchronized swift movement, both clowns reached down and grabbed both of Alex’s legs. He was then lifted straight up in the air and was dangled upside down. Alex’s shoulders hit the bleacher seat and his cocked back. Laughter broke out from around the whole arena now as other sections started to notice all the activity. He then felt his feet being pulled on as both clowns struggled in taking off his sneakers and his socks. Laughter erupted from the entire audience. The clowns then dropped Alex down with a thud. He now sat there with no shirt, nothing on his feet and practically blind. The clowns then turned around and proceeded to walk away down the steps, carrying all of Alex’s clothes. One of them turned back around and gesturing with his finger for Alex to follow them. With only his denim shorts left on to wear, Alex began to follow the clowns down the steps.

Linda and Carol were polishing off the last of their expensive drinks. They had gotten into some random family gossip and their attention had been slightly distracted from the action going on. Then they heard the laughter coming up from the crowd. Linda looked down at the spot where her son was sitting only to see a pair of small legs now sticking straight up in the air between two clowns. Two clowns who apparently had just done something to her son to the amusement of hundreds.

“Lyn, is that Alex?” Carol frantically asked Linda. She looked over at Linda who was standing there frozen in disbelief. She was horrified. Before Linda could act, she saw Alex stand up and follow the clowns down the steps.

Alex was attempting to walk behind the clowns who now looked like to him as two big blobs of bouncing color. The cement steps were hot on his bare feet. A wooden stable door was at the bottom of the steps. The clowns slammed the door on Alex as he tried to walk through it, hitting him in the legs. The audience laughed some more. Both clowns got up on the stage and beckoned Alex to join them. He climbed up a small ladder and stood on the stage in front of hundreds with just his pants on. Yet, he felt like he had nothing on at all.

The two clowns then split up and stood on opposing sides of Alex. His clothes were piled into a heap by the edge of the stage. The clowns then began to play various practical jokes on him. One of them handed Alex a telephone receiver implying he had a call. A warm stream of water came out of the phone instead, spraying him directly in the face. They then handed Alex a real five dollar bill only to have it quickly snap back away from his grasp on an elastic band. The audience seemed to laugh even harder at Alex being the victim of these gags. Lastly, one of the clowns reached into a barrel and took out a big inflatable sword. Alex thought that maybe, just maybe this was some type of prize for him and this whole thing would be over.

“Is that…is that for me?” Alex whispered pathetically to the clown.

“WHAT? No kid. It’s not for you, go get dressed” the clown snapped at him. He then turned his back on Alex and put away the sword.

Alex walked over to his clothes and began to get dressed. As he was doing this, the clowns were behind him making silly faces and gestures. Alex desperately wanted to get off that stage. He was moving as fast as could. He got his shirt on, put on one of his socks and stopped. He was missing something.

Just then, the arena audience suddenly screamed with a huge burst of laughter. It was so loud, Alex felt like the stage was shaking. He turned around to see what had just happened.

The first clown was now skipping around the stage. He had one of his arms raised high in the air for the world to see. On his hand, was Alex’s other sock. The clown had stuck one of his fingers through the hole and was wiggling it at the crowd. Not only was the entire arena laughing at the clown dancing around, they were now made totally aware of the fact that Alex had a big hole in one of his socks.

Linda hugged and kissed Alex multiple times after the show making sure he was alright. He had gone back to his seat next to Dawn and stayed for the rest of the show. The audience applauded him as left the stage fully dressed and no prize.

“I’m alright, Mom.” Alex forced out unconvincingly. “Can we maybe do one or two more rides,then head home?”

Linda nodded towards him and the four of them began to walk back through Funworld. The park had lost its appeal. Even though he was fully dressed, Alex felt like everyone he passed saw him as naked. He just felt awful. If they didn’t see him as naked, then they DEFINITELY knew he had a hole in his sock. At least, that’s how he felt inside.

Dawn and Alex did a few more rides, played some games and then decided they wanted to go home. Alex’s mood had gotten a little bit better, but He was still stinging from the events at the circus.

“Did you guys have a good time?” Aunt Carol shouted out from behind them.

They both shouted back “YES!”. Dawn’s reply had just a bit more realism and mirth in it than Alex’s.

Alex walked slowly with his head down. Dawn went up alongside him and put her arm around him.

“You know cuz, one day you and I are going to find those clowns again. We’ll be bigger and stronger. Then we’ll teach them a lesson, they’ll never forget. Deal?” She smiled at him. Dawn’s smiles were always contagious to him and they always lightened up everyone around them.

Alex smiled a small back at her in acknowledgement. He could never stay in a real bad mood around Dawn and especially Aunt Carol for long.

“Alex, I know it’s been a long day for you” Linda said to her son as they approached the exit.

Alex was exhausted and still kinda down. He also knew this tone from his Mom. She wanted him to do something when they got home. He wasn’t sure what it was, but it was going to be a chore of some type.

“But, when we get home you have a job to do.” She calmly ordered.

“Here it comes. A bath? Start my summer reading assignment?” Alex thought dismally.

“As soon as you walk in our house.. she paused. “Your going to throw those socks in the garbage.”

Aunt Carol burst out laughing. Dawn joined her. Alex looked back at his Mom who was smiling.

Alex started laughing. Of all the stuff he had done today, throwing out his socks was going to be his most favorite thing to do.

The four of them walked out of Funworld laughing. Alex’s bare toe still rubbing up inside the top of his sneaker as the first summer trip came to a close.

Author’s Notes

This story takes place years before Stephen King’s “IT” and other examples of creepy clowns in the media. The really scary aspect of this story is in the fact that it actually happened. Of course, something like could never happen in today’s world. If somehow it did, “Alex” would probably be a viral YouTube sensation and possibly quite rich from his lawsuit against the circus.

I want to thank the real people that were there on that eventful day. Vicki, Barbara and Dawn. I love the name Dawn too much, I just couldn’t change it.

For the record, “Alex” did attend a couple more circus performances in his lifetime. He just made sure to sit himself way up in the stands out of reach of anybody. He also ironically never developed a deep dislike of clowns, the same type that a large number of people seem to have towards them. Finally, he also never, NEVER went out in public again with a hole in any type of sock he was wearing. The idea of something like that again being revealed out in a public place would turn out to be truly his greatest fear.

For My Aunt, My Cousin and of course, My Mom.

Awkward~#daily-prompts-2 #inspiration-2

He was an absolute mess. He hadn’t slept the entire night before working on what he was going to say. He also had a brutal headache. It was all because of Nicole. Women like her come into your life once, just once. A type of woman that gives you that intense internal feeling of total bliss. He loved her, there was no doubt within him. A feeling like this was new to him yet, it felt so natural and comforting. He knew it but, did she know it? It didn’t matter to him if she felt differently. He had to tell her. These feelings inside him were going to just burst out at the wrong moment in the worst way and he did NOT want that. He had to stay focused. That’s why he wrote all of his thoughts down. They were like a step-by-step instruction manual on to make her realize his intent. The phone call he was about to make was too important and it had to be done just right. He had scribbled down multiple versions of what to say. Read the words out loud. Rehearsed his tone and inflection in speaking. He ad-libbed in some places and stuck to the script in others.

Despite having worked in the same company for months now, this was going to be the most important interaction she’ll have with him. They passed each other on occasion throughout the day. They even sat silently across from each other during staff meetings. Last week, they both went out after work with a group of other co-workers to celebrate their new bonuses. The few minutes he spent with her was all he needed. He gazed into her green eyes and fell in love. A mutual friend got him her number, assured him she was single and cool to call. Now, here he is-nervous as a teenage boy asking a girl to the prom.

He got his phone and looked at his notes. He rehearsed the words again, and again. Why was he like This? He had no problems talking to women before. He was actually quite comfortable around them and often made them laugh. So, why was this one any different? Simply put, she electrified him like no other one had done before. Ok, it’s time. He tapped on the number and called. She picked up on what felt like the longest three rings in telephone history.

“Hi,Its me Jim from work. I hope you don’t mind that I got your number from someone at work. Don’t talk, please just listen” He swallowed and told himself to slow down. “I’ve been around you now for months. I can’t stop thinking about you. I’ve never met anyone like you and I feel your the one who has everything I’ve been looking for in a woman. I know this is a lot for you to take in. But, I simply had to let you know. I think your the most wonderful and beautiful person I have ever met and I’m crazy in love with you. That’s it, I’m done. If you don’t feel the same way, I understand. At least I told you where I stand and I hope you understand that you that my wants are genuine and real”.

He did it. He got it all out. There was silence on the other end of the phone. He closed his eyes. A voice spoke on the other end.

“Ohhhh..Jim. I understand your wants totally. But, do you WANT to order anything? This is NICK’S PIZZERIA.”

He clearly had dialed the wrong number. He nervously smiled and said “Uh,…no thank you. I’m sooo sorry”. He hung up the phone and looked down at her number again. In his phone, NICK’S PIZZERIA came before Nicole in his contact list. He laughed out loud. He began to dial the right number and crumpled up everything He wrote. He didn’t need it anymore. Sometimes life is better unscripted.

Narcissism~#inspiration-2 #daily-promps-2

She was wrong, again. This time it was the tater tots. He likes them just a little soft. She cooked them too long. They came out crunchy and a little darker than usual. They were too hard as well. They hurt when one was thrown at her. She now has a welt on her upper arm. It’s nothing to complain about. He just likes things a certain way and she forgot this. In fact, he’s like that about many things.

During episodes of certain shows, she couldn’t walk around the house. The house has old creaky floors and the noises distracted him. How she chewed her food really upset him as well.

“You chew your food like a damn rabbit. Slow it down!” He would often snap at her from across the table. The odd thing was,.that he ate faster than she did. She always felt that her eating speed was at a normal pace. She just never said anything. She knew he was right.

He had rules and she followed them. Despite them being possibly quite a bit extreme, she had a roof over her head at least. It’s really the only way for her to live.

“No…its not…”

She turned around to see who just whispered in her ear. No one was there. The kitchen was empty. Only the sound of running water rinsing out the Tupperware that had the discarded tater tots. A passing idea, thats all it was she thought. She reached back down for the sponge.

“It’s not you. It’s HIM, HE’S WRONG.”

She dropped a mug that had his coffee in it(that she got right, at least she thinks so. Nothing was said) earlier into the suds. This time, she knows she heard something. She walked into the living room. He sat there in the same spot he sat in every night. The same position and the same show.

“Did you hear something?” She asked him as she looked around all the adjoining rooms. They were alone.

“No. Leave me alone, this is a good one I haven’t seen”. He said to her. A slam! came out from the t.v. as Judge Judy swung her gavel down. He looked up at her, as she still looked for any one else in the house.

“What? Look, you can’t hear right. You never could. I’ve always said that it’s one of the many things that nots right about you”. He turned away from her and gave his full attention back to Judge Judy.

She needed Advil. It was just the beginnings of one of her daily headaches. She learned to live them. She headed to the bathroom. What she really wanted was a place to lay down. The couch was off limits for daytime naps and the bed you were only allowed to use at night. She walked into the darkness of the bathroom.

“Leave the lights off and just listen.”

This time, she definitely heard it. It was a soft yet assertive whisper. She couldn’t figure out why she was listening to it, but she went into the bathroom and shut the door. She stood there in complete darkness.

“Now, listen to me. Listen and learn. He’s controlling you and YOUR life. One person should never do that to you. I am small now, merely a whisper within you. Chant my words to yourself daily. Memorize them. And soon,one day….my whisper will deafen all the ones that try to control you. Now, turn on the lights”.

She reached out for the light switch. Her hand trembling with fear and adrenaline. Her skin felt hot. She flipped the switch. She was startled at first. That was replaced by a sudden overall feeling of comfort. In the mirror, she saw herself only vastly different. Her hair was cut and dyed darker. (He only wanted her hair the way she had it now) Her skin was glowing, made up with warm colors and a clean foundation.(He really didnt care if she wore makeup, he never noticed anyway) She had on a dress that clung to her now thinner body. (He hated seeing her plump legs in a dress) The reflection stared back at her. Her eyes were awake and clear. It smiled at her and spoke.

“Now, don’t be scared. This is who you SHOULD be. NOT what you’ve become, NOT what HE’S made you into. That ends today. Your going to take your first step towards THIS.” She held up her hands towards her face. Manicured hands showed off her face. Her wedding ring was missing. “It won’t be easy, but I promise you, PROMISE YOU, in the end it will be worth it. Because, it will be YOURS TO LIVE. Do you understand?”

She stood there looking at her (was this her?) reflection. She felt dizzy and yet strong. She understood and wanted more. She nodded in agreement to the mirror.

“Good!” The reflection smiled at her. A smile she hadn’t seen on herself in years.

“First things first, I’m always here with you all the time whenever you need me. We’re in this trial of change TOGETHER. Second, No matter what he thinks of you or anything you do, THAT no longer matters. Starting today, We’re going to learn some new words. One of them is Narcissism. Here are some others new ones. Practice them now with me. Say them as I say them. Never forget them and say them every time he wants you to do something that goes against who you really are. Ready?”

She found her headache was gone. The tater-tot welt on her arm didn’t bother her anymore, either. “Yes,I’m ready” she said.

The reflection of herself leaned in right below the mirror’ s surface. She whispered “No, I won’t. Say those words”.

She stared back into her own eyes. Eyes that had no signs of exhaustion or defeat.

“No, I won’t.” She said slowly with some force.

“Good!” The reflection said back at her. “These words are just the beginning. They are your battle cry and your prayer. From this point on, you head towards who you are now being a reflection of the past. What you could be, who I am, will be your choice and destiny. We’re in this together.” She then faded away. She was replaced by the very real tired and broke reflection of herself. The real woman as she is now. She walked out of the bathroom and down the hall.

“Can’t you walk any quieter?? When you walk, the whole house shakes and I can’t hear a damn thing.” He was spewing this out at her without even taking his glance off the T.V.. As if his words were part of a daily routine that needed no extra attention. “Can you just stop walking LIKE THAT?”

She stood completely still. She clenched her fists and swallowed. She glanced back down the hall at the bathroom. She had a response for him. A new one was given to her. These words would now define her and reclaim her identity. She opened her dried bare lips and spoke for what was to be the first of many defiant answers.